Closure

I came to the realization today while talking to my therapist that I just want it to be over. Not my life, but the life that I spent 14 1/2 years in. I want to close that chapter start a new chapter with the friends I have made over the course of the last week because I know with them I can be happy. Happy in knowing that they understand and won't judge me, nor will I ever judge them. I just listened to Poison's Something to Believe In, if you have never heard it, I recommend listening to it. I remember as a teenager when I was going through some of my toughest times, I bought the Poison album Flesh and Blood (Poison is my favorite band of all time by the way) and there were so many songs on that album that helped me get through some very dark times and bring closure to some of the stuff I needed help on. I used to put the tape, yes tape this was before I had a cd player, in my walkman, not even gonna try to explain that one..lol, and I would just lay down at night and just let it play over and over because it was the one thing that let me escape and be happy. Music has always been a part of my moods, like if I hear a lot of 80's hair bands I get really pumped up and excited, and there are also songs that really depress me, two being The Dance and Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks. Now don't get me wrong I can get just as amped up to Garth as I can anything, but the one song of his that really speaks to me is The River, because the opening line is "A dream is like a river, ever changing as it goes, and the dreamer is just a vessel that must follow where it goes". I have always liked that song and I try to follow my dreams no matter where they lead me and I think I get way from that. There is one dream I have now, that I would give anything for it to come true, but if its not in Gods plans, it will not happen. I really want this to be in Gods plans, I guess all I can do is give my will to him and see where the river takes me.


If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans.